Audi RS4 Avant Review – We Tune Into Rage Station 4

But first I need to queue up a playlist of 80s synth music in anticipation of the perfect time of day to pilot my favourite Quattro equipped Audi. Those moments before sunrise, with the night's cool air still hanging in the sky.

The darkness plays a stark contrast to the light show that comes standard with the RS4's headlamps, animated tail clusters and array of gauges and screens strewn in the cockpit – both virtual and real. A brassy baritone hit comes from the Bang & Olufsen 3D sound system, I shift into Drive, engage its Dynamic mode and push off in unison.

It isn't even a V8 anymore, but nobody's told it, Audi replaced two cylinders with a pair of turbochargers. The net result is 331kW and a whooshier soundtrack. I’ll take it. And point the motorised monolith north in search of Du Toitskloof Pass for some apex carvery. But first a blast up the N1, with a crackling exhaust note and the kind of acceleration that buries you into the seat, for company.

3, 2, 1, Mountain Pass

By now the sky is deep purple, orange shafts of light pierce through the mountain peaks as they seek their way to the grey asphalt ahead of me. 'Check mate' says the RS4's green bonnet, itself on the same mission, each right footfall sending 600 boosted Newton metres to four massive 20-inch wheels shod in Continental SportContact rubber, via an 8-speed automatic Tiptronic transmission.

I usually leave the gearbox to handle the cogs but not today, instead manually tugging at the paddle shifters behind the helm. I know that in a straight line the RS4 is capable of great things, a zero to hundred sprint of just 4.1 seconds, specifically, and a limited maximum speed of 250kph.

On these narrow roads, sandwiched between cliff face and sheer drop, however, those massive outputs are daunting, intimidating even. Quattro AWD grip makes it all manageable, as does Audi's ability to make the large 4.8m long wagon 'shrink' around its driver. Still, from my driver’s pew those blistered arches make the car feel wide. On the plus side, it also makes the front wheels easy to place.

By now we’re halfway through my Kavinsky playlist and the cabin graphics are being overrun by the incoming ambient light, less distraction then as I steer onto this engaging mountain pass. I tickle the left paddle once, twice and a third time dropping the ‘tronic box into third gear and give it a healthy boot to the system.

Aaah... Audi interiors. Flat-bottomed RS badged interiors...

The RS4 bucks then sprints as I’m pushed even further into my pew, my head braced against the headrest as literally everything intensifies – the noise, the G-forces, while my smile widens to the point of threatening to separate my face into hemispheres. This is everything.

Left. Right. Repeat.

I hate to keep bringing this up but here it is again – 331kW and 600Nm in a two tonn-ish estate car on roads that twist, dive and undulate with increasingly rapid succession, flanked by imminent danger – thank heavens for the red-lacquered jumbo brake calipers peaking from behind those rapidly spinning 20-inch wheels.

With those I’m able to bob and weave like my last name was Ali. Or Clay. A green pugilist battling elevation as well as chasing the sun, carving up lefts and rights, double right-handers, widening lefts and 180-degree rights before making my way back and doing it all in reverse.

With the added reward of an acoustically appreciable tunnel to properly conduct my eight-strong orchestra, when I include those two aforementioned wind instruments – the kinds that spool.

The RS4 helm is typically Audi, lacking somewhat in granularity but making up for it with weight and precision. In combination with a firm suspension, wielding the RS4 is relatively easy and certainly rhythmic out here on this pristine tar. It’s easy to lose track of time and place and awareness as its driver, fuelled by one of the most engaging driving experiences and dope synthesiser chords.

Gaping grille. Vents. Inlets. Yes, this is RS

I park at a clearance on a verge meant for appreciating the views of the Du Toitskloof Mountains, to survey Wellington and Worcester and surrounds. But I only have eyes for the emerald beast ticking itself cool in the shade, now fully lit by the morning sun. In the air for the first time, the sound of another car on this road, and then another and another.

A much-needed reality check, and factors that would certainly affect my drive home for sure – but for now, the memory of a perfect uninterrupted drive of my favourite wagon on my favourite road with the perfect soundtrack and the best kind of light will linger for days. The 80s synth intensifies.

Audi RS4 Avant Spec: